The Voice of Your Ego and the Voice of Your Gifts
(Or: why you are mysteriously allergic to Instagram)
Inside me there are at least two voices—no doubt more, but let’s start there. One is loud, sharp, and extremely opinionated. She’d make a great lawyer—fast, ruthless, never unsure of herself. That’s my ego.
The other is strange and ephemeral. It floats somewhere around my mind, occasionally landing right between my eyes like a nagging thought. It doesn’t tell me what to do. It just gestures quietly, like: That way. That’s the voice of my gifts.
I didn’t learn to tell the difference until I’d already wasted several years listening to the ego talk as if it was just plainly, concretely and inarguably correct. Spoiler: it was not correct. It was scared. It was trying to protect me from the vulnerability of failure.
The voice of your gifts doesn’t care about failure. It cares about becoming. And becoming in the world we are all in, unfortunately, tends to involve a fair amount of failure, of not-being-liked, cringing-at-your-own-content, and doing things your ego would absolutely rather you did not do. Like selling. Or marketing. Or writing another blog.
Which is why it matters—deeply—that we learn to tell the difference. Because only one of these voices is leading you toward who you’re meant to become.
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How The Two Voices Sound
The Voice of the Ego
Your ego is a master of safety. It speaks in absolutes. It says “don’t do that,” “you’re not ready,” “they won’t like it,” “this isn’t good enough yet.”
It often sounds solid and severe—a firm no. It uses urgency, comparison, and control as its primary tools. It wants you to stay relevant, liked, secure. But often in unexpected ways. like instead of doing Instagram, you will maintain your egoic integrity by turning your nose up at everything you see on Instagram.
While the ego is not inherently bad, it is inherently limited. It protects your personality—not your potential.
The Voice of Your Gifts
The voice of your gifts is quieter. It’s abstract. Airy. Sometimes disorienting. It doesn’t shout; it suggests.
It doesn’t care about your comfort—it cares about your becoming. It offers you a vision for your life that may not make sense in the moment. But following it will stretch you into the person you're here to be.
I call this force visionary intelligence—the voice that lives in your higher mind and speaks in metaphors, desires, and images you don’t fully understand yet. It’s not loud. It doesn’t beg to be followed. But it knows.
And every time I’ve listened to it—even when it didn’t make sense—my life expanded. My business was born. My body of work emerged. The conditions for my thriving revealed themselves.
How to Know the Difference
In real-time, this isn’t always easy. When I’m facing a hard decision, I almost always default to the voice of ego first. It sounds clear. Grounded. Rational.
But if I pause—if I wait—I start to hear the hum of my gifts beneath it. And usually, that voice is asking me to do something I’d rather not do. Something uncomfortable, inconvenient and unfamiliar—something that deep down I know is right but I don’t want it to be.
Because the voice of your gifts will never prioritize your comfort. It will prioritize your evolution.
When Ego Masquerades as Gift
Here’s where it gets even trickier: The ego can pretend to be your gifts.
Especially if you work in transformation or wellness. It will masquerade as discernment. It will hide behind values like “alignment” or “integrity” when what it’s really doing is stopping you from risking anything real.
It will say:
“Don’t post on Instagram, it’s sucks.”
“Don’t charge, your work is sacred.”
“Don’t market, that’s capitalism.”
And while yes, there are very real conversations to be had about how sucky instagram is, the problems of capitalism, and maintaining integrity... your gifts still want to be expressed. They still want to reach people. They still want to exist in the world in some form other than your notebook or your private Google Drive folder.
So the real question isn’t: Does this feel good?
It’s: Does this serve the becoming of my work in the world?
The voice of your ego says: “Don’t do this. It doesn’t feel right.”
The voice of your gifts asks: “How can I do this in a way that’s aligned with what I’m here to bring into the world?”
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The Ego Death of the Whole Thing
There comes a point in the journey when you realize: Your life’s work isn’t about you anymore. You’re just the vessel. And that changes everything.
Because now you’re making decisions not for you, but for the vehicle of your gifts to find full expression in the world.
You market. You sell. You show up—not because it’s comfortable, but because it’s what your life’s work is asking of you.
That’s the ego death. And it’s the beginning of true creative power.
Start Here: A Few Questions to Ask Yourself
Is this resistance I’m feeling rooted in discomfort or misalignment?
Is this voice trying to keep me safe, or move me forward?
What does my visionary intelligence say about this situation?
What would my gifts do, if they were in charge?
So Here’s What I Know Now
Every time I’ve followed the voice of my gifts—even when it made no rational sense—I’ve ended up somewhere truer. Never easier—always harder. But more true. More correct.
And every time I’ve listened to my ego pretending to be an inner sage, I’ve “protected” my work right into obscurity.
So now, I try to follow the voice that makes me nervous. The one that weakens my knees and puts me at the mercy of forces I can’t control. The voice that doesn’t flatter me or reassure me—but dares me to become someone I haven’t met yet.
The voice that says:
Do what needs to be done in service of the thing that’s trying to come through you.